Skip to content

Better

February 23, 2014

I haven’t written in a long while.  No daily practice, no ten minutes a day.  No true sentence.  Why?  Because I’m afraid.  Afraid of going in deep, of digging out the truths, of what it takes to write that true thing again and again and again.

What I forgot was the result.  The gift you return with.  The diamond clutched in your sweaty hand.  Your face covered with soot.  Emerging from the cave.  The glint in your eye.  The knowing within.

The gift that transforms you and then, when you share it, those around you.

Instead, I hid.  Hid with excuses.  My life is going great, why screw with it?  The first two books were enough, look at what they’ve done.  I’m just a guy trying to figure his shit out, what do I know?  Look at all that I’ve learned, why not just stick with practicing it and be satisfied?

Excuses.

The truth is that I’m no longer the person who wrote those books.  I’m better.  Much better.  Because I wrote those books.  Because I shared what I learned.

There’s a deeper truth: better is not good enough.

For the longest time I thought that as long as I didn’t slide back to the depth of where I’d been, that was success.  Ah, monkey mind, you are clever.

The truth is that the experience of going within and sharing our gifts, they transform us.  We can never go back to where we once were.  We may slide, sure, but the person sliding is not the person who’d been down there before.

So the question to myself is: who am I now?  And start from here, from this point.  Dive in and find the new gifts.  And be better from here.

And that’s what life – from my current understanding – really is: a journey of being better and better and better.

I’m cool with that.

16 Comments leave one →
  1. February 23, 2014 3:58 pm

    Kamal,

    I think we’re all “that guy (or gal) trying to figure this shit out.”

    All the time.

    We all get better… hopefully. And even when we get better, we go through another “wave” of trying to get better again.

    Ride the peak of this “wave,” Kamal… as far as you can.

    Frankly, I’m interested to see where it takes you. Because you, through your two books, have helped me reach the peak of my “wave.” :)

  2. February 23, 2014 3:59 pm

    Kamal,

    I think we’re all “that guy (or gal) trying to figure this shit out.”

    All the time.

    We all get better… hopefully. And even when we get better, we go through another “wave” of trying to get better again.

    Ride the peak of this “wave,” Kamal… as far as you can.

    Frankly, I’m interested to see where it takes you. Because you, through your two books, have helped me reach the peak of my “wave.” :)

  3. Anonymous permalink
    February 23, 2014 4:26 pm

    This is very helpful — quite enlightening. Thank you Kamal for sharing

  4. February 23, 2014 4:35 pm

    “The truth is that the experience of going within and sharing our gifts, they transform us. We can never go back to where we once were. We may slide, sure, but the person sliding is not the person who’d been down there before.”

    That experience also transformed many of us. And so, not only do you now live in a world where your outlook is different. But you live in a world where many others have been transformed because of your work.

    They, us, are all new connections. Linked to you in the weird ways that we create connections with other humans. That’s a different world entirely.

    You opened a box and it became a living, breathing group of people. I can’t speak for them all. But I for one, don’t expect you to have suffered every challenge I may suffer. I don’t expect you to have all the answers. Or to feel the need to maintain a perfect life forever. That itself if a huge pressure.

    Just to continue to share your truth, in an honest way, when you really believe you have something valuable to share. :)

  5. Sherry Abdou permalink
    February 23, 2014 4:35 pm

    My friend Kamal…:)

    To me …. you are a modern day prophet! Despite trepidation you allow the divine to work through you to help humanity. I know, I know WTF — bit heavy!

    But, it’s what your writing does to my mind & heart! I was perfectly content moments ago online shopping for shoes from I designer I can’t even pronounce! Although, I can easily pronounce ridiculously expensive:))

    Then a new post arrives from my most favorite writer:) There you have it! It’s done! No, not buyers remorse for the shoes;)

    It’s this peacefulness that comes over my body & mind when I read your post. It’s JUST MAGIC!

    Thank you for writing!

    Lots of love and blessings,

    Sherry

    Then my email alerts me of a new message.

    you bring this fullness to my heart

  6. February 23, 2014 4:50 pm

    Your honesty, simple honesty is the best of who you are. That’s where we all need to explore — our own honesty.

  7. February 23, 2014 5:34 pm

    The monkey mind gets us all, Kamal. This is beautiful. Looking forward to the next one;) No pressure.

  8. February 23, 2014 7:03 pm

    “And that’s what life – from my current understanding – really is: a journey of being better and better and better.” – This is awesome, love it.

    Choose the next obstacle! (I hope that includes another book)

  9. February 23, 2014 8:34 pm

    Nice hearing from you, friend. Sometimes it’s good to step away. To stray a little. Expecting yourself to always be fully on is a lot. Just like anything in life, there’s extending, and then drawing back – extending, and then drawing back – repeat. A lot of us are glad you wrote those books. Here’s to starting from now. On three. One… Two…

  10. sailaja permalink
    February 23, 2014 11:52 pm

    Kamal,
    Every time there is a large gap, you make sure you come with better stuff. Really cool :)

  11. February 24, 2014 12:38 am

    thank you Kamal, your honesty kicked my insides, I too must stop hiding and be ok with not knowing but figuring it out as I do. Thank you so much.

  12. Chris Lee permalink
    February 24, 2014 10:30 am

    So Kamal, will you go back to daily practice or being better, have you left it behind?

    I admit to being in the same situation. Your books and daily practice helped me greatly in a rough time. But I’ve stopped as well. I’m better too.

    I’m just wondering if you will go back to that in your journey for even better.

    Best.
    :)

  13. Nicki permalink
    February 28, 2014 5:41 am

    Your truth also is growing far away in germany. Delicate little plants. You just have to wait :-)

  14. Anthony permalink
    March 2, 2014 1:44 pm

    Thank you. And your journey and sharing are helping other people “get better,” whatever that means for each. And at some point I think we must realize that it is not so much we are getting better, but that the whole time we were just learning to be ourselves, again, whatever that means for each. Many blessings to you.

  15. March 8, 2014 11:20 am

    Unquestionably believe that which you stated.
    Your favorite justification appeared to be on the internet the easiest
    thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get irked while people think about worries that they just do not know about.
    You managed to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the whole thing without having side effect ,
    people can take a signal. Will probably be back to get more.
    Thanks

  16. March 29, 2014 10:20 pm

    Life is continuously calling us to more and more expansion.
    I think I’m at one of those points now.

    I just watched your talk, I didn’t realize you were that young (it’s the grey hair), but thank you for reminding me of who I am, again.
    Your book truly transformed me over a year ago and like you I fell off the bandwagon, but again like you I’m not the same anymore either, and like you I hear more expansion waiting to be realised (and that in-between moment can be “scary,” but like you wrote – “not real”) (I think I memorized your book).

    Thank you Kamal, Thank you. I’m excited to meet you someday so that I can truly express my gratitude.
    -Catt xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 292 other followers